Finding Peace Within Chaos

With everything going on in the world, people are responding with fear or anger. They don’t realize that trust is a third option. Fear or anger doesn’t bring peace to our lives. So what does trust look like? And will that bring us peace?

Crisis or chaos threatens us. It brings the threat of loss—loss of value, loss of privilege, loss of security, loss of power. Our instinctive response to threat is fear, which can sometimes manifest as anger when we push back against what threatens us. People who are angry are also fearful, though you might not see it. Something they hold dear is being taken away or is at risk of such. For example, consider those who are angry because they feel their rights are endangered. Behind their anger is the fear of losing those rights. How can we prevent ourselves from experiencing fear when world events disturb us?

Too Attached to Outcomes

Part of our problem is that we are too attached to events and outcomes. Every outcome is personal to us. We make events about us, even if they are happening far away in Washington D.C. or elsewhere. When we do this, we invest ourselves too much in external events and set ourselves up to get rattled by life’s surprises. We carry around the things that upset us, keeping them close so we can revisit them often and upset ourselves all over again. It’s best to keep a loose grip on events. When we hold too tight, we are less able to adjust to the unexpected. Strive to be unattached to specific outcomes by having an attitude that any outcome will be manageable.

As part of keeping a loose grip on life, we need to have a buffer, a way to filter events to keep them at arm’s length. Remember that not everything we hear is true or about us. Try not to take things at face value, but hold them at a distance and study them from multiple angles. Then, when you’re finished, put them on the shelf. If you ingest them, you make them a part of your being. Ingesting an event is welcome when you’re convinced it adds value to your life. When your wellbeing isn’t dependent on exterior circumstances, you can create it from within your interior life, deriving it from the depth and richness of your relationship with yourself and with God.

Managing Our Thoughts

We cause much of our anguish by what we tell ourselves about our circumstances. We label and judge them as bad, and thus respond to our negative assessment of them, not to the actual circumstances, all of which have no intrinsic valuation. By doing so, we believe the worst and increase our stress and worry. We would do well to manage our thoughts. Avoid labeling things as “terrible.” Instead, use labels such as “manageable” or “okay.” Conduct regular inventory of your thoughts. Decide which are worth keeping and discard the rest. Most thoughts don’t serve us. You will find yourself discarding the same negative thoughts over and over again. Stay at it, so it becomes a regular practice and your thought life becomes tranquil. One friend incorporates an action with this mental exercise where he turns both palms downward as if dropping something into a trash bin.

God is Bigger than Circumstances

At some point, you need to decide whether God is bigger than your problems or the other way around. If you decide that God is bigger, how might you change your thoughts and behavior to reflect that belief? Any problem you have is manageable for God. Not only is God bigger than your problems, but He has the bigger picture in mind. I don’t presume to know the bigger picture except that in the end, God will work things out for my soul. My soul has greater value to Him than my circumstances because it’s my soul that endures. Everything else will pass away. So we entrust our souls to God, expecting Him to keep them safe to the end. Because I trust in God, I believe I will be okay, no matter what. I have learned to not trust God for a specific outcome, but trust that God will enable me to embrace any outcome with His help. God says in Ezekiel 18:4, “Behold, all souls are Mine.” My confidence is that He will take care of me because I belong to Him.

Trust Leads to Peace

When we trust, we can experience peace. I define peace as a confidence in God that defies circumstances. We rest in God and find contentment in Him.  I believe such confidence arises from cultivating a relationship with Him, growing to understand His actions and character, and learning to trust in that love relationship. This nurturing interior life with God becomes the bedrock for our outer lives.

In my book, Four in the Garden, Creator gives Cherished advice: “Try to stay in the present. Dwelling on the past or future will steal your peace. Only in the present, where We make Our abode, will you find Us and the peace We give.” God exists across all time, but His presence and activity happen in the present moment, and that’s where we encounter Him. We won’t find Him in our thoughts about the past or future. We experience God’s peace when we stay present and focus on the reality of God in that moment.

Smooth and Heavy

Strive to be like a rock in a fast-moving river. The water rushes past, but the rock is undisturbed. Are you slippery like a smooth rock? Or do events “stick” to you? If you are sticky, then ask God to rub away your sharp edges. He may send stronger currents in answer to your prayer. Are you heavy enough to stay in place? Or do you get washed downstream? Our “weight” depends on our relationship with God. Matthew 7:24-25 describes a person who follows Christ’s teachings as like a house built on bedrock that can withstand the raging torrents. If we are centered on God, then God becomes our anchor when currents try to sweep us away.

The Role of Gratitude

Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made know to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Entrusting our concerns to God with thanksgiving is the key to peace. Gratitude is an important element as it repels anxiety. Without it, our prayers are tainted with fear and worry.

When I was bedridden after my back injury, I spent a lot of time processing my predicament, trying to make peace with it and my future, as I had scant hope for improvement. One morning as I lay in bed, I found myself thanking God out loud for “surrounding me with love and good things.” Surprised by this declaration, I stopped and considered if it were true. God had been gracious to show me His love over the course of my life and to send good things my way. I realized my injury hadn’t changed that. I still had God’s love and many good things as I reflected on my current situation, though desperate. That moment of gratitude brought me great peace and confidence that everything would be okay although I couldn’t see what that might look like.

Psalm 112 describes a person who reverences God. Verse seven says, “He need not fear a bad report, for his heart is unshaken, since he trusts in the Lord.” When we trust in God, our hearts are unshaken. All the bad reports we hear in the news need not create fear in us because God is bigger than circumstances and will enable our souls to endure. Place your confidence in God. You belong to Him. He will take care of you.

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His goal was to help people have a close relationship with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California.

For more articles, visit http://www.rickhocker.com/articles.html
Website: http://www.rickhocker.com
Email: mail@rickhocker.com

When Effort is Not Enough

When you pursue an important goal, you want God’s help to accomplish it, whether looking for a job, trying to lose weight, or seeking wisdom for a friend in trouble. But what is the balance between exerting effort and trusting in God? What is your part and what is God’s part? How do you know the difference?

Trust Alone

Let’s look at the extremes, first. I’ve known people who, desiring to be spiritual, wait on God to make the first move. These people expect God to provide income, housing, or a spouse without any effort on their part. It’s like trusting God for good grades without studying. “If God wants me to have this, He will provide it,” they say. When the desired thing doesn’t happen, then it must not be God’s will. The Bible says, “You have not, because you ask not,” (James 4:2) but some things require more than just asking. I believe God wants us to participate in the answer. These days, new age spirituality emphasizes the power of intention, but we need to apply willingness and effort, along with intention, toward our goals and desires. Our participation demonstrates to God our seriousness of intention. “God will provide,” but only if we do our part. We collaborate with God as we work toward our goals. It is meant to be a joint effort.

Effort Alone

At the other extreme are those who believe that goals are accomplished by pure effort alone. In effect, they take God out of the equation. But we can only do so much on our own. We have limitations. We need God to bless, extend, or multiply our labors to get us to the other side. It’s foolish to think that effort alone is sufficient. Our efforts fall short. We need God to open doors, grant us favor, manifest resources, and bring about what only He can do.

Sowing, Waiting, and Reaping

The challenge is to know when to restrain effort. For example, we could spend twelve hours a day looking for work, but anyone who has tried will tell you that nothing is more depressing. A farmer plants seeds, then waits for the seeds to sprout, trusting that God will bless him with a harvest. We invest ourselves, then we step back and wait and trust. We try to be wise with how we use our time. When we are desperate or fearful, we tend to over-invest and employ a scattershot approach to things, doing everything and anything that might make a difference. That leads to despair and burnout. A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself whether your effort is driven by fear or trust. Fear-driven effort produces far less results than trust-driven effort. We do our part, trusting in God, then we step back and trust God to do His part. We must remember to give God time to do His part. Seeds don’t sprout overnight.

We have to be careful with over-exertion. Sometimes, our efforts get in God’s way. We can be so focused on our labors that we miss God’s provision. I remember when I had to be out of my apartment by the end of the day. I should have spent all day looking for a new apartment because time was running out. Fear and panic could have driven all my effort. Instead, I chose to go to church that morning. I spoke with someone at church who happened to have an available room. That day, I moved into my new place. A farmer knows the seasons, when to sow, when to rest, when to reap. After sowing, the farmer scans his field for any changes, looking for first sprouts. In the same way, we step back and widen our view to look for any movement or change that God has brought about. If we keep our heads down all the time, we miss what may be happening around us. One purpose of the Sabbath is to remind us we need to rest from our labors and enjoy God.

The Bigger Picture

In my twenties, I struggled with a dysfunctional friend, not knowing how to deal with his codependency and attachment. I pushed back and set firm boundaries, but he became more passive-aggressive and resentful. Years later, out of the blue, it occurred to me that I needed to ask his forgiveness for hurting him. Up to that point, I was focused on his hurting me and my having to forgive him, since he was the problem. When I asked him to forgive me, he broke into sobs. We both experienced much healing as a result of that action. The friendship became more manageable after that. He had never been given an outlet to release his hurt and anger until I gave him an opportunity to forgive. If only I had stepped back and looked at the bigger picture, I would have seen the pain I had caused him by my actions. My point is that we need to remind ourselves to look at the larger picture and not always be so focused on our goals. The answer sometimes comes when we get rid of our tunnel vision.

When We Lack

In some situations, we can do nothing, such as a sibling’s cancer diagnosis. But even then, our part would be to pray for them. Or we can offer practical support. A friend was diagnosed with stage-four esophageal cancer. Never have I known anyone to put so much creative effort toward his own cure. He changed his diet and his thought life, banishing all things unhealthy or negative. He underwent alternative treatments, even flying to Asia for a special detox procedure. He tried experimental drugs, one of which proved effective. He’s now cancer free, and attributes people’s prayers and positive intentions to this miracle. From my perspective, his attitude and spirited efforts were contributing factors.

After we have done all we can do, all that’s left is to trust, and that’s sufficient. There comes a time when we surrender. We’ve done all we know to do and nothing has worked for us. At that point, we give everything to God, trusting God to do what we cannot do. That is the point where we abandon all effort. We give up. It’s now up to God. God may or may not act, but we have tried. In my experience, God often waits until I reach the end of myself as the prompt for Him to act. I suppose He wants me to know my limitations and wants to break my pride. Sometimes, we place our faith in our own efforts, when our faith ought to be in God, so He lets our efforts come to naught in order to teach us this lesson. On occasion, new direction comes during this surrender and we are given a new task or a shift in focus, but we need to be in a posture of watchful waiting—the farmer looking at the entire field, not the patch of dirt at his feet.

We all experience times when we don’t have faith, when we are discouraged or doubtful. In those times, I think it serves us to go through the motions. Even that is an act of faith—applying effort when we can’t see if it will do any good. We don’t have as much control over our lives as we think we do. Some goals are never realized. Some harvests never manifest. The true benefit of working toward a goal isn’t the goal itself, but the inner growth that results from the effort and faith applied. Are we learning patience, endurance, trust, and compassion? Are we being changed? That is the best measurement of a goal.

Finding A Balance

It’s difficult to know the balance between effort and trust. Am I doing enough? Am I trusting enough? An excellent picture of this balance is found in Exodus 17:10-12 where the Amalekites fought the Israelites while Moses stood on a hilltop during the battle with the staff of God in his hand. As long as he held up his hands, Israel prevailed. When he lowered them, the Amalekites prevailed. So Aaron and Hur sat Moses down on a stone and they held his hands up, one on each side, until the battle was won. The lifting of the staff demonstrated trust in God, but it took effort to keep it elevated. This action embodied faith. In this illustration, effort and faith went hand-in-hand. In the same way, our efforts should be acts of faith. As far as it’s possible, our strivings should be founded on faith and focused on God. In other words, faith generates action, and action reinforces faith.

Moses got weary, so his friends helped him to keep his hands uplifted. We, too, need to rely on our support network in our undertakings. Whether we are searching for work, housing, or wisdom, we need our friends to come alongside and hold us up when we weaken. We often forget about this important resource. Don’t be quick to write off friends because you think they can’t help or understand. They may have ideas or resources you don’t have. Or find a support group of people who can relate.

This balance between effort and trust shifts over time. At times, we work. At times, we rest from our labors and trust God for a harvest. In everything, we exercise faith, believing that God is working on our behalf to bless our efforts. It’s an opportunity to draw close to God and learn His priorities for us. In the story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42), Jesus affirmed Mary for spending time with him, whereas Martha missed out on relationship because she was preoccupied with her work. In our laboring, we need to remember to stop and listen to God as Mary did. Let us cultivate relationship with God, which is God’s greatest desire for us and which supersedes the less important goals we set for ourselves. These smaller goals are but opportunities for God to teach us and transform us, through both success and failure.

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His goal was to help people have a close relationship with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California.

For more articles, visit http://www.rickhocker.com/articles.html
Website: http://www.rickhocker.com
Email: mail@rickhocker.com

The Simplicity of Death

To understand death, we can observe nature as in the lifespan of insects or the hierarchy of the food chain. Death is an integral part of the cycle of life. Death is necessary, inevitable, and unavoidable. I doubt that insects or animals contemplate their mortality as humans do. Yet, what we have in common with all creation is our need to survive. The survival instinct is driven by an innate need for continuity, but for some humans it’s confused with one’s fear of death. We humans have turned death into a terrifying phantom that sneaks in the shadows and steals our precious lives as a thief.

In my book, Four in the Garden, Cherished came upon a dead mole that disturbed him because it didn’t behave like all the other animals he had encountered thus far. He found it stiff, cold, and unresponsive. When he asked, “Where did the mole’s life go?” the Teachers explained that its life left its body and rejoined the One Life in which all living things share, the One Life that is Creator. God is the source and embodiment of Life, and all living things manifest God’s Life. When a living thing dies, its life returns to God.

The Balance of Life

In college, I used to pray atop a hill behind the dorms. Each time I ascended the hill, I passed a small pond full of many dozen polliwogs. I would always stop and watch them wriggle along the edges of the pond as if eager to climb onto the land. Over time, they grew large and began to sprout limbs. One day, when I visited the pond, the water had dried up and all the polliwogs had died. This event devastated me because I had grown attached to those little guys. For years, it bothered me because I could never understand what lesson could be gained by observing this catastrophe.

Looking back at that event now, I take heart because of the laws of physics. Energy is being transformed all the time. Matter converts into energy according to Einstein’s famous equation. We now know that energy and matter are interchangeable. Everything transforms. Nothing is wasted. The life energy of those polliwogs wasn’t extinguished, but released to the universe. Death is not a destructive end, but a transformation of energy from one state to another.

I see Life as a dynamic constant, where creatures come and go, but the totality of Life is a vast fabric that God infuses with His Life. All creatures are alive with the spark of God’s Life, and the spark returns to God when they die. In this sense, death is but the shedding of the body. Life continues. Spirit continues. Even for us, death means that we shed our bodies and continue in a new form. Think of it as shedding a skin like a reptile or crustacean sheds its skin or shell as it grows.

God’s View of Death

I believe that God views death from a wider perspective that isn’t tied to a material point of view, given that God Himself is Spirit and not tethered to a body. Most people are confounded when they read passages in the Bible about God slaughtering people. From God’s point of view, He is simply terminating bodies, not souls. I don’t mean to make light of murder (it is one of the ten commandments), but God takes a more casual and neutral view of death when taking lives, as they are His to take. We’re comfortable telling children the story of Noah’s ark, even though the tale includes the worldwide intentional slaughter of the entire human race save one family. Bodies serve as temporary housings for our souls, nothing more. We regard our human lives as only the short time we inhabit our bodies, when our existence actually extends far beyond that. “What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes,” says James 4:14. Psalm 90:4 says, “In God’s sight a thousand years is but a day.” Whether we live a day or ninety years, our human lives are a momentary flash from God’s point of view.

We consider it tragic when people die “before their time.” Who decides what my time should be? It may be much shorter than yours. I think everyone’s time is too short. God, on the other hand, doesn’t hold a tragic view of death. Psalm 116:15 says, “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His godly ones (saints).” Those mentioned are God’s favorites, I assume, but their death is deemed precious to God, not tragic. Contrast this with the feelings we have when those dear to us die. We consider it extra grievous if the deceased was a good or godly person, somehow less deserving of death, as if death is based on merit.

Why We Fear Death

Death is natural and not to be feared. The reason we fear it is because our ego is unwilling to suffer loss. Ego clings to security and substance. Ego refuses to let go. Death is the enemy of ego. The best way to address our fear of death is to stop clinging to life so tightly, to release our grip, to let go of control. In its place, we choose to trust in God, to trust in Life and Death. Death is not genuine loss, but only the shedding of our temporary bodies. I find comfort in this, seeing the shedding of my body as liberating and freeing me to experience God without the distraction of my body.

One thing that terrifies us about death is the loss of ego and identity. In this world, we are known by our outward personality and accomplishments. Those personal attributes cease to define our non-material being after death. The quality and nature of our souls is what remains. Ego and self are baggage meant to be discarded anyway along the path toward fulfillment in God. The supremacy of self runs counter to the spiritual life and to the nature of God. Ego, as self-focused, opposes the open, outward essence of God who desires Oneness with all. After death, ego and identity have no place or function. They only thrive where separateness causes one to define a distinct self in relation to and in opposition to all others. For those who experience Oneness with God, separateness ceases to be a marked reality, and our need for ego and identity fades because God’s embrace supplies the security that ego tried to provide and our new identity of being one with God replaces our old fragile identity of “I alone”. On our journey toward death, we must “die” to our sources of false security and find fulfillment in our relationship with God.

The Issue of Decay

Before death comes decay. Here in the United States with our emphasis on youthfulness and newness, decay and deterioration repulses us. I admit I join the crowd on this issue. I don’t look forward to the slow loss of physical and mental capacity or the frightful challenges that tend to strike older people. Yet, deterioration is a natural consequence as we transition toward death and it ought to be accepted. Through all of life’s circumstances, we learn to adjust and adapt in the hope that in our latter years we have gained resilience and calm acceptance of what is. If I have learned these things, I can then apply them to the upcoming challenges of aging. I will adjust and adapt to the deterioration happening to my body with humor and patience and compassion. If we haven’t yet learned to release our stubborn egos, then these final humiliations will give us ample opportunity. When we accept our limitations instead of resisting them, we are best prepared for change as it comes. We trust in God, believing He will guide us through all the stages of life and will give us what we need along the way.

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His goal was to help people have a close relationship with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California.

For more articles, visit http://www.rickhocker.com/articles.html
Website: http://www.rickhocker.com
Email: mail@rickhocker.com

The Indwelling Spirit of Christ

Our identity as Christians is based on our relationship to Christ. A common phrase to describe this identity is “who we are in Christ.” Our relationship to Christ as our savior gains us favored status with God, imparts Christ’s purity and righteousness to cover over our sinfulness, and grants us unrestricted access to God so we can have intimate relationship with Him. It takes a lifetime to fully understand these deep truths, but we cannot stop there. If we want to lay hold of God, we must explore a second stage. After we have laid the foundation of who we are in Christ, we must then discover “who Christ is in us.”

All things start with a focus on ourselves. Who am I? Why am I here? What do I want? As we mature, the focus ought to shift off of ourselves. The same holds true with our identity in Christ. After we have established who we are in Christ and have arrived at a comfortable level of security in our standing with God, it’s essential to move to a more Christ-centered focus. This shift in focus causes us to ask who Christ is in us. What can we know about the Spirit of Christ who inhabits us? What does it mean that Christ indwells me? How do I live my life to give space and freedom to this indwelling Spirit? I doubt I can answer these questions with great accuracy, but I hope I can inspire you to think differently about Christ.

Christ in Us

Christ said He had to leave the Earth so He could send another, a Comforter, to be with us (John 14). Christ knew He could only be in one place at a time, so He devised a way to be with many people at one time by sending His Spirit to dwell inside those who receive Him. This isn’t some second-rate, inferior replacement for Christ. This is the full package. Everything you believe about Christ is bundled in this package because the package IS Christ. He Himself dwells inside you, not a watered-down version. Because our lives still feel unremarkable, we tend to think that the package is more like a Jesus action figure that sits on our dashboard inspiring us on our journey, but not offering much practical use. The problem is not with the package, but with us not knowing what to do with it. It’s like having an Amazon Echo device sitting on our counter, but we don’t know how to engage it, so it sits there unused and ineffective.

In Ephesians 3:8, Paul refers to the boundless riches of Christ. Other translations use adjectives such as unfathomable, immeasurable, or infinite. The New Living version translates Paul’s words to say “the endless treasures available in Christ.” That phrase inspires me to imagine a treasure room filled to the ceiling with golden riches, all available to us in Christ. Why do we not utilize this treasure? We often neglect spiritual gifts because we feel unworthy or cannot believe they are ours to use. So our treasure room remains closed even though we’ve been given the key. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 3:22-23, “Everything belongs to you, and you belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to God.” The treasure IS Christ. His boundless riches are found in us because He dwells in us.

Christ by Faith

If Christ and all He possesses are found in us, then our first response ought to be gratitude. Let us be cognizant of what a great treasure we have, Christ in us. So how do we tap into this resource? We apprehend Christ by faith, believing that Christ’s fullness is available to us, believing we are worthy of such a gift, and believing Christ will manifest in our lives in response to our faith. God wants the Spirit of Christ to be a real and active force in our lives. That’s why Christ gave us His Spirit.

Let us exert more faith in Christ, not only the Christ who sits in Heaven, but the Christ who sits on the throne of our hearts. Let us depend more on the Spirit of Christ who inhabits us. We need to give God more opportunity to express Himself in our lives. The Spirit of Christ can only dwell where He is invited. Therefore, let us invite Him into our daily interactions, into our thoughts, and into our words. By compartmentalizing our lives, we limit God’s reach. God wants to infiltrate our lives in every aspect, but we get in the way. The older I get, the more I see how much I restrict God by my own fears and insecurities.

Christ to the World

I visualize myself as a portal or doorway between God and the world. Christ is inside me, and the world is outside me. Christ yearns to reach through this opening and touch the world He loves so much. But it’s up to me how wide an opening I give God to do so. How much will I open up my heart and life to God? I believe that my experience of the reality of God is directly proportional to the size of the opening I give Him. We create an opening for God by clearing a way that’s devoid of self and ego. It is an empty space that God can fill with Himself. It is a setting aside of my agenda and attachments.

In its ultimate expression, Christ in us becomes Christ in the world. Christ inhabits us to such an extent that we become His hands and feet in this world. I believe that is what Paul meant when he prayed that we “become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ” (Ephesians 4:13). In this state, Christ inhabits us fully, filling every part of our lives. This fullness overflows our lives as the character and activity of Christ is made manifest to the world for others to experience. I often wonder if such a thing is possible for someone like me, but when I consider what an amazing resource I have in the indwelling Spirit of Christ, I’m reminded that all things are possible with Christ (Matthew 19:26).

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His goal was to help people have a close relationship with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California.

For more articles, visit http://www.rickhocker.com/articles.html
Website: http://www.rickhocker.com
Email: mail@rickhocker.com

The God Particle

“I believe that God is in me as the sun is in the colour and fragrance of a flower ­– the Light in my darkness, the Voice in my silence.” —Helen Keller.

Most of us think of God as being outside, up there, or elsewhere. “He is high and lifted up,” said the prophet Isaiah. And shouldn’t He be since He is so holy? What’s remarkable is that the God who dwells in unapproachable light (1 Timothy 6:16) can also dwell in us feeble and broken humans and is willing to do so. “Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?” (1 Corinthians 3:16).

One of my most life-changing insights was when God showed me what resided at my spiritual center. I had expected something dark or sinister, but what I beheld at my deepest core blew me away. It was God Himself. I already believed that God’s Spirit dwelt inside me, but I’d been taught that the Spirit ebbed and I needed to ask to be refilled every day as if my spiritual tank would run dry if I didn’t. It had never occurred to me that God was an enduring and integral part of my spiritual makeup. God is the foundation onto which my soul is built.

God Within Us

Water drops in the atmosphere, such as those in clouds, are created when water vapor condenses on tiny particles of dust. At the center of every water drop is a tiny particle. I now see my soul in the same way. My soul is wrapped around a tiny particle of God, but this particle is infinite, boundless. If I were to plunge into my innermost center, I would find God in His fullness. The deeper I descend into the ever-tighter center-point, the more spacious the view.

When shopping yesterday, I became awestruck on realizing that everyone around me was also a God particle wrapped in a soul. People have inestimable value because they carry God within them. Each of us contains a “drop of glory.”1

St. Teresa of Avila was a sixteenth-century nun and mystic who wrote Interior Castle. In her book, she described the soul as a castle with a series of mansions though which one journeys toward the central mansion. She wrote that God’s mansion “is the centre of the soul itself.”2 I interpret her statement to mean that God Himself dwells at our innermost center.

Flow From Within

In my book, Four in the Garden, Cherished learned that he could connect to Creator via a special connection found at his innermost center. This divine connection was called an umbilicore. It functioned as a spiritual umbilical cord from which he received nourishment from Creator. As in the story, God dwells inside us at our center, and His Life flows outward to nourish our souls.

God’s Spirit or God’s Life is often described as a spring of water that wells up inside us. In John 7:37, Jesus said, “He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” The flow of living water comes from our innermost center because that’s where God dwells.

God’s Accessibility

Having God at my center implies that God is always accessible to me. I used to view God like a switch that would get turned off if I felt unworthy or guilty. I pictured Him as moving further away depending on my behavior. Then I would have to work to close the gap between us. But, now, I only need to find God at my center, and my experience of God is almost immediate. It sounds too easy.

Believing that I’m connected to God enables my connection. Feelings of doubt will shut it down. If I don’t believe that I can connect to God, then I don’t. Unworthiness or guilt still interfere, but the best cure for those things is connecting to God. So I push past those feelings, find God, and connect to Him, then those feelings fade away.

I realize that what I’m describing is not most people’s experience of God. God is elusive or distant for most. My intent in writing this is to declare that God is not far away from you. He is closer than you think, closer than your own breath. He is at your innermost center and available to you. We haven’t been taught how to look for God. We don’t know how to look inward, but that’s where God is found. It’s also where your soul is found. Navigating the soul’s treacherous terrain requires courage. To find God, we much deal with the stuff in our souls because that stuff gets in the way.

Press in. Dig deep. Gaze into your soul. Deal with your stuff. If you persevere, you will encounter God. The goal isn’t to encounter God or to connect to God although those experiences can be fulfilling. The true goal is to fall in love with God and to nurture a relationship with Him. In the context of relationship we come to know God in a way that transcends what we read in a book. God becomes real to us, and we become a conduit as He flows out from our innermost being into the lives of others.

1 Rick Hocker, Four in the Garden, page 185
2 St. Theresa of Avila, Interior Castle, page 154

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His goal was to help people have a close relationship with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California.

For more articles, visit http://www.rickhocker.com/articles.html
Website: http://www.rickhocker.com
Email: mail@rickhocker.com

The Purpose of Pain

I’ve noticed a growing trend in our society marked by an aversion to pain. I suspect this trend is due to the easy availability of drugs that mask pain. It seems as if pain is another malady to be conquered by science, along with cancer and heart disease. But pain is not a disease. We forget that pain is a natural and helpful mechanism meant to inform us when something is wrong. We tend to not listen to our bodies and, thus, not listen to our pain. Pain is a symptom, not a problem. When we mask our pain, we stifle the messages our bodies are trying to give us. We need to learn to listen.

I don’t intend to take on the drug companies or to convince you to not take pain medications. Instead, I want to explore the workings of pain in our lives and what we can learn from it. I believe pain can be our teacher.

Learning from Pain

At its most basic level, pain is a warning. It triggers when we touch something hot or when we injure ourselves. We feel pain when something is wrong inside us, such as a stomachache or headache. From the pain messages, we learn what behaviors to avoid, such as not touching the hot stovetop. We also learn new behaviors, such as wearing sunglasses when spending hours in the bright sun. If pain is repetitive, then we need to change our behaviors to mitigate the pain, such as not eating foods that give us heartburn. Listen to the messages your body is giving you and try to learn from them.

These principles also apply to emotional pain. Can we learn from our pain to change our behaviors so we aren’t inflicting pain on ourselves or allowing others to inflict pain on us? What is your pain telling you? If you’re experiencing emotional pain, you’ll be tempted to mask or medicate it. But sit with it long enough to understand it and to learn what you need to do to remedy it. If you medicate your pain, then you’re only treating the symptom and remain in the dark as to its cause. Seek to understand its cause so you can correct it.

Transformed by Pain

In my book, Four in the Garden, Creator said, “The soul attains full maturation when transformed by life of which pain is an integral component.” Pain has value if we allow it to transform us. Pain has spiritual purpose. The apostle, Paul, understood this and sought to partake in Christ’s sufferings as a way to know Christ better and to become more like Him. “I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.” (Philippians 3:10). I admit this concept is far beyond me, but I recognize that Paul’s attitude toward suffering is rare when compared to the importance placed on minimizing pain these days. This is evident in advertisements that promote weight loss or great abs without exercising. What happened to “no pain, no gain?”

Paul believed that suffering had the power to raise us to a higher spiritual state. “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” (2 Corinthians 4:17). This power isn’t found in the suffering itself, but in God’s ability to use the suffering to our benefit when we trust Him to do so. God can only transform what we hand over to Him. During my back injury, I believed there was some spiritual purpose in it, although I couldn’t see it at the time. Nevertheless, I trusted God during that dark time and entrusted my body and soul to Him, believing He could use the situation to bring about spiritual growth in me. Had I not done so, I doubt I would have learned or grown as much as I had.

Paul saw benefits to suffering. “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Romans 5:3-4). Paul lists three areas that can develop from suffering: perseverance, character, and hope. Learning to endure pain develops perseverance that helps us stick it out during long or tough challenges in life. Perseverance produces character that is more focused on others than on our own comfort. And character leads to hope that, in this context, means an abiding trust in God during times of trial where reward and gratification are delayed, but still believed in.

God’s Intention

If, during our suffering, we focus on our misery and complain, I believe we can sabotage God’s intention to use it to transform us. Even of Jesus, it is said that He was made perfect through suffering (Hebrews 2:10). If Jesus, our example, needed to suffer to be made perfect, then much more do we need to be perfected through life’s experiences. An attitude of trust is important. Can you entrust your painful circumstances to God so He can use it to deepen your character? Our transformation has paramount importance to God, more than our comfort. Our bodies and circumstances don’t last forever, but our souls do, so God is invested in developing our souls, making them ready for eternity.

I believe we will continue to grow in the next life, but this life is about developing an elasticity and humility that fosters the greatest capacity for future growth. Through life’s experiences, we can develop a spiritual capacity for partaking in God’s abundant and overflowing Life and Spirit. Without the necessary transformation to our souls, we won’t be able to contain the immensity of such abundance and Presence.

Benefits of Pain

One lesson I learned from pain is a deeper acceptance and trust. It’s natural to resist pain and discomfort. I resisted the thought that I would be permanently disabled. But God was saying to me, “What if you don’t get better? Will you trust Me anyway?” I wrestled with that question for some time. In the end, the question boiled down to, “Is God trustworthy or not?” I decided He was trustworthy and would be no less able to care for me if I were permanently disabled. What helped me was meeting a lady named Marcy ten years earlier. When I met her, she was still confined to bed because of a back injury five years prior. She radiated joy and gratitude in spite of her disability and had tremendous trust in God.

Another lesson I learned during that time was to live in the present moment. During my injury, I kept dreading the future, seeing it as an unmanageable burden. I also looked back at the many months of immobility and debt, and got depressed about the unproductive time of being confined to bed and not making income. God taught me to focus on Him in the moment and to not dwell on the past or future. He reminded me that He doesn’t inhabit the past or future. Those things are abstract and have no present reality. But God dwells in the present and we can experience Him there. When we focus on the past or future, we sever our active connection to God because we jump into our minds to obsess on past events or future worries.

One surprising benefit I discovered was that focusing on the present moment made my pain more manageable. The thought of an entire day of pain was crushing, but I found I could manage the current moment of pain I was experiencing. And I would manage the next moment of pain, and then the next. I didn’t worry about how I would get through the day or week or month. Instead, I stayed in the moment and managed that moment. This is a great way to tackle life when it feels overwhelming. Also, it keeps us centered on God who inhabits the present moment and makes Himself available to us in that moment.

Character and Maturity

Today’s society is accustomed to instant gratification. I worry that we are losing the virtues of sacrifice, denial, and delayed gratification. During World War II, when rationing was enacted, the entire country made voluntary sacrifices to support the war effort. The Great Depression and World War II taught my parents how to make sacrifices and to live on less. I see how those instilled values created an incredible generosity in my parents. Pain and suffering can do the same for us. Pain can teach us humility, endurance, willingness to suffer for others, and gratitude for what we have.

James encourages us be grateful for our trials. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4). Our reason for joy is that when we persevere, it produces a complete maturity that Paul defines as “attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” (Ephesians 4:13). And that is God’s intention for our transformation, that we be filled with the fullness of God and, thus, bear His image in all its glory.

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His goal was to help people have a close relationship with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California.

For more articles, visit http://www.rickhocker.com/articles.html
Website: http://www.rickhocker.com
Email: mail@rickhocker.com

Creating Space for God

What does it mean to have a relationship with God? How do we relate to someone who we can’t see, hear, or touch? How can God be more real to us?

An Inward Experience

Sometimes, we experience God in a dramatic, physical way, but God is most often experienced inwardly. He interacts with and inhabits our inner beings. We encounter Him and relate to Him within our inner selves. I’m not talking about our minds. I’m referring to our core nature of who we are as spiritual beings, our eternal essence as unique individuals apart from our bodies, our souls.

For most of us, this inner space is unfamiliar, if not frightening. Yet, it’s within this space we encounter God. This inner space isn’t always a tranquil retreat where we hear the whisperings of God. Rather, it’s dark or chaotic or rife with painful emotion. How fitting that God should meet us there, in the midst of our confusion and pain.

The problem then becomes that of clutter. This inner space is full of our egoic luggage, our emotions, our repetitive thoughts, our replayed stories of regret and betrayal. This stuffed interior leaves no room for God. So no wonder why He seems so far away.

Clearing a Space

We need to create a space for God within ourselves, a space He can inhabit, a space where He can interact with us in a meaningful way. We need to clear some of our clutter. The truth is we are all hoarders. We hoard everything we think and feel, stashing it all inside. We hoard words spoken against us, negative emotions, judgments, fears, and whatever makes us feel secure. A lifetime’s worth of collecting. How then is God expected to find a place within us to meet with us?

I’m not asking you to get rid of all your stuff, although it would be liberating if you did. What I am asking is that you clear a small space within yourselves, an open space that’s devoid of ego and agendas and expectations, a space that stands as an invitation for God to come and roost for at least as long as that space exists before your internal clutter rolls back and fills it again. Find a way to create that space for God whether through prayer or meditation or long walks. Think of this space as an empty spot within yourselves He can fill with His presence.

In Revelation 3:20, Jesus says He is knocking on the door of our hearts, asking to be invited in. “If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” God never forces Himself. He waits to be invited. For me, the invitation is more than setting aside time for God, but also creating a space where He can enter and feel welcome. We wouldn’t ask a guest to enter a room so stuffed with boxes stacked to the ceiling that only one person could squeeze in. I think of my interior as a room I can make cozy for God, a place He would want to visit. The aforementioned verse uses the illustration of a meal with God. A shared meal is a perfect example of comfortable fellowship, conversation, and laughter, something that God is asking us to invite Him to do with us. The Bible says that Jesus comes to dwell in our hearts through faith (Ephesians 3:17). By faith, we invite Him, but I believe He inhabits us by degrees, to the extent we create space for Him to fill with His being. A few verses later (Ephesians 3:19, also Ephesians 4:13), Paul describes the ultimate goal of attaining the whole measure of the fullness of God. My thinking is that God can only fill what has been made empty.

Cultivating Relationship

After you have created that space, spend time there. Get comfortable with it. Get to know it as you know yourself. Speak to God from that place. Be open to answers. God may point out some of the surrounding clutter and ask you to do something about it. Or you may choose to show your hoarded stuff to God and ask His help to get rid of it. The more you clear, the bigger space you create for God to inhabit.

This exchange is a conversation of sorts. You share your inner self with God. You share your thoughts and fears. You communicate with Him throughout your day. And you quiet yourself to receive His peace and comfort, to receive his Life and Being. He may even impart messages to you. As in any relationship, this exchange is characterized by quality time spent together, shared experiences, and mutual disclosures. I believe God is as real as we allow Him to be.

Over time, God reveals Himself to us in response to our risk in trusting Him. The space we create for God expands. We include God in our thought processes and decisions. We rely on God more and we look to Him for direction. Direction from God takes the form of a sense of imparted peace and presence regarding decisions and a felt assurance that God is with us and leading us. This way of relating to God needs to be cultivated and becomes a habitual practice of engaging God in our daily lives. At a deeper level, we allow God access to our inner selves and we partake of God’s life as a vital source of empowerment and nurture.

Being Real

God is most real when we are real with Him. That’s why our interactions with Him need to be honest, free from disguises and manipulation. We don’t bring to God our best selves. That doesn’t get us far with God, since He sees our hearts and knows when we are false. God desires truthfulness in our innermost being (Psalm 51:6). Instead, we bring to God our true selves. Fearful, impoverished, uncertain, wounded, we present ourselves to God, and He receives us and loves us as we are. And love is most richly experienced in the context of relationship. God desires a love relationship with us. As we allow God to love us, we grow in our love toward God and in our experience of Him.

God inhabits our inward selves. When we create space within us for God to inhabit, then we can interact with God and cultivate relationship with Him. If you want more of God, then you have to relinquish more of yourself. Jesus challenges us to surrender our entire selves when He said, “Whoever loses their life will preserve it.” (Luke 17:33)

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His goal was to help people have a close relationship with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California.

For more articles, visit http://www.rickhocker.com/articles.html
Website: http://www.rickhocker.com
Email: mail@rickhocker.com

Overcoming Fear

Addressing fear takes more than applying methods or formulas. It requires a shift in consciousness, a new way of thinking. While preparing to write this article, God told me:

“Fear has everything to do with one’s relationship with oneself.”

I’ve been thinking about that statement for the past week and will try to unpack it for you.

A Fearful Parent

How do you relate to yourself? Take time to think about your answer. Try to put it into words. Do you behave as an over-protective parent who always fears for the welfare of her child? Or do you behave as a judgmental parent who always finds fault with his child? Do you behave as a controlling parent who puts strict limits on her child? In these examples, the parent is you and the child is your life. By substituting these terms, the first example describes a fear-based person who relates to her life by always thinking of potential misfortune or harm. In a real way, we parent ourselves by encouraging or discouraging our growth by the judgments we make about our lives.

When fear is active, then our response to life will be to protect, resist, or contract. We focus on ourselves and on what we risk losing. This focus on self creates a climate of fear within us. In this mindset, we see ourselves as threatened and powerless. We perceive our lives as small bubbles, and everything that exists outside our bubbles are a potential threat. Because we view the world as a threat, we take an oppositional stance against life. We resist all intrusions, both real and imagined, against our protected bubbles.

Moving Beyond Fear

To move beyond fear, we need to change how we see ourselves. Instead of regarding ourselves as tiny bubbles of existence fighting to survive, we choose to view ourselves as part of a larger whole, where we and the whole are not at odds with each other.

What is this whole? The whole is everything that comprises the universe. It is God who holds it all together. The whole is the greater Life that encompasses your life. It is the continuous flow of creation, decay, death, and transformation in which we all take part, whether consenting or not.

When we focus on the whole, we find it easier to trust because our stories are recognized as part of a larger story. This larger story is about the inherent goodness of God and the constancy of God. When we fix our attention on this overarching theme, what happens to us matters little because we’re more focused on participating in God and less focused on preserving our bubbles. We cannot do both. So we entrust our tiny bubbles to God—they were never really ours in the first place—and now identify with the grander, all-encompassing bubble that is God. We overcome fear by entrusting our fragile lives to God and choosing to not focus on ourselves or on what may happen to us.

Moving Away from Self

When we shift our focus from our tiny selves onto God, we learn to trust that God is bigger than our little stories. We take on a new story that is no longer about us, but about God’s activity in us and through us. The larger story of God’s sweep across all lives subsumes the smaller stories of our single selves.

We learn to trust the flow that carries us from event to event, from change to change, through difficulty and pain. We entrust ourselves to the whole, to the flow that is Life. We entrust ourselves to God, believing He will bring us to our destination. Our destination, in case you wondered, is God Himself.

How do we do this when we’ve spent our entire lives focused on ourselves? It means laying down our stories and our control over those narratives. It means giving God control over our stories and letting Him direct them. When we don’t like the direction He is taking us, we trust instead of resisting.

Trusting Life and God

Because of this new identification with the larger story, we can learn to no longer fear life, but trust it, even embrace it. From this new vantage point, we can define life as participation in the flow of God that requires our willingness to be transformed. If we’re to trust life, then we need to accept all stages of existence, including decay and death. Pain and suffering are an unavoidable part of life. Instead of resisting them, we learn to accept them as part of the whole, no longer judging them as needless or terrible. God inhabits both suffering and joy. He inhabits the entire spectrum of life.

When we resist life, we won’t grow. In my book, Four in the Garden, the Teachers tell Cherished, “Nothing is ever annihilated. When Creator destroys something, its substance is merely transformed. The rhythm of the universe is transformation.” Natural phenomena demonstrate this principle of transformation. Since this principle is elemental to life, then we ought not to resist it. When we accept change and hardship, then we move through life with grace and peace, and are transformed by it. God’s purpose is that we be transformed more and more into His image (2 Corinthians 3:18).

Connection

When we perceive our connection to this larger whole, then our lives have greater meaning. We see ourselves as an integral part of things rather than separate from them. When we’re connected, we don’t feel as threatened, so we have less reason to resist or fear. Our little self becomes hidden in God (Colossians 3:3) and embraced by God. Life is less scary because we are in God and with God. We choose to believe in the goodness of God to sustain us along the journey, no matter where our journey takes us.

A focus on self reinforces our perception of separateness. Separateness creates isolation. It’s the sense of isolation that creates fear. We believe we are alone and must fend for ourselves. Thus, we must protect and defend our tiny bubbles of existence. That’s why we need to shift to a viewpoint that is larger than self. We can enhance our sense of connection by reminding ourselves we are not separate and by telling ourselves we are already connected to God. We can’t grow in our relationship with God if we believe we are always disconnected from Him.

A Larger Vision

A larger vision of connection to and participation in God frees us from fear because we no longer have to worry about our bubbles. God invites us to share in His being and to let go of our tiny self-bubbles, to join Him in the flow of His Spirit. Our focus shifts from our little lives to the greater Life that is God. We move from a self-centered focus to a God-centered focus. When we fear, we focus inward and contract. When we trust, we focus outward toward God and expand.

When we’re connected, God ceases to be “out there.” We become joined with Him in relationship. Our life becomes connected to His Life. When God interacts with us, it will be from the inside out, not the other way around. He meets us at the intersection where spirit touches Spirit, where deep touches Deep.

The Trusting Parent

At the proper time, a parent gives up control over her child when her child has matured. When this time comes, the parent allows his child to make mistakes and learn from them, to experience the world without parental supervision. She entrusts her child to God, believing that God will take care of her child. Like a trusting parent, we need to give up control and entrust our lives to God. We transfer our parental rights to God, allowing God to be the parent over us, a parent more patient and loving than we could ever be. We release our tight grip on our lives and choose to have a loose grip, instead, allowing God freedom to have His way.

As we relax our grip, we release fear. At the same time, releasing our grip is terrifying to our egos. It’s illustrated by the difference between clutching the side of a deep swimming pool or floating in the middle. We fear the depths may swallow us, so we clutch something for security. We will never learn to trust if we never let go. God coaxes us to release our tight grip on life and trust Him to keep us afloat. Real trust clings to nothing, but believes God is our life-vest each moment.

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His goal was to help people have a close relationship with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California.

For more articles, visit http://www.rickhocker.com/articles.html
Website: http://www.rickhocker.com
Email: mail@rickhocker.com

When God Feels Far Away

In my book, Four in the Garden, the protagonist, Cherished, loses his connection to Creator. Because of this loss, Cherished feels as though Creator has abandoned him. In the story, I had neglected to show that Creator stayed close. I recently revised my book and added this missing scene. In this new scene, Creator kneels next to Cherished as he weeps. We see Creator’s pain and emotion regarding the damage to their relationship. We see Creator’s longing for the relationship to be restored. Cherished can’t see or hear Creator, but Creator has not abandoned him.

We all have experienced times where God seemed absent, not listening, or uncaring. During those times, our prayers feel empty and futile. We can’t connect to God. It feels as if all lines of communication have been cut. It’s tempting to give up on God when He seems unresponsive. But God says that He will never leave us nor forsake us (Deut. 31:6, Hebrews 13:5). So in spite our perceptions, God is not far from each one of us, according to Paul (Acts 17:27).

Pain and Fear

This perceived distancing from God has many possible causes, but I want to discuss two of them: pain and fear. Pain or fear blocks our experience of God. Think of them as loud noises that drown out all other sounds, including God. They steal our attention and focus away from God and onto ourselves.

When I was dealing with back pain, it took all my energy to manage my pain. When my pain was severe, I could barely carry a conversation or watch television. The pain pulled all my attention inward. I found it difficult to focus on anything except the pain because it was intense and constant. Because of that, I found it almost impossible to connect to God or feel God. The pain was much louder than God. We believe we need God most when we’re in pain, but our pain hinders our experience God during those times, so God may feel far away. Nevertheless, when we suffer, God suffers with us (Isaiah 63:9).

Love is Greater Than Pain

During my back injury, God did break through on rare occasions and remind me that His love was no less real. Some of you may see a contradiction between God’s love and pain. One might ask, “How could God be loving if He let you suffer such pain?” But I was able to embrace the paradox where love can coexist with pain, even excruciating pain. I think the best example of that is Jesus hanging on the cross and forgiving those who condemned Him. God’s love supersedes our pain. My pain did not negate God’s love. Instead of turning from God, I entrusted my pain to Him and entrusted my body to His care, because I believed that His love was greater than my pain.

If you are experiencing pain of any kind, whether physical or emotional, don’t be surprised if God seems far away to you. Your pain acts as a veil that blocks or hinders your ability to access God. Pain is a primary, raw sensation that overrides our subtle spiritual senses. Pain has that effect on everyone. But don’t assume that God has abandoned you. God is with you. Joshua 1:9 says, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Moving Through Pain

My advice is to entrust your pain to God. Don’t hold it close, but keep a loose grip on it so God has ready access to it. Secondly, try to move through your pain. Pain has stages, and we tend to emotionally resist the intense stages, so we get stuck on one side of the valley and never complete the spiritual crossing because we’re afraid. As we give God access to our pain, we give Him permission to heal us and transform us. Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” We may never understand why our lives have pain, but we trust God with our lives and with our pain, believing He can create something good from it.

Fear is Self-Centered

Fear is the other state that blocks God. It operates the same as pain in that it steals our attention and focus. When we are afraid, we pull inward, our body constricts, our thoughts center on self. By contrast, trust is characterized by relaxing and reaching outward. If we trust and relax, then we can float during stormy seas. If we fear and panic, then we fight and resist the waters, and cause ourselves to sink. When we fear, we close ourselves off from God because we curl up like a pill bug, shielding ourselves from everything outside of our vulnerable self. When we choose to trust, entrusting our fear to God, we make ourselves open to His activity and peace. “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you,” says Isaiah 36:3.

Many years ago, I struggled with low self-esteem. I was convinced that no one liked me. I carried a continual fear of rejection. Because of my fear, I behaved in ways that gave people more reason to keep their distance. Their behavior caused me to withdraw more, to be more insecure and awkward, which pushed people even further away. One thing I learned from that struggle was how fear draws energy from self-focus. My need to be liked put my focus on me. Fear centers on ourselves, what we risk losing. When we focus on ourselves, we can’t receive much from God. When we trust, we shift our focus from ourselves onto God and open a channel for Him to help us. If your fear is active and God feels far away, it may be that your fear is blocking His ability to comfort and help. Next month, I will write about ways one can overcome fear.

God can do so much more for us when we trust Him. When we fear, we make the situation about us and keep God at a distance. If we want God’s involvement in our lives, then we need to learn to trust Him.

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His goal was to help people have a close relationship with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California.

For more articles, visit http://www.rickhocker.com/articles.html
Website: http://www.rickhocker.com
Email: mail@rickhocker.com

Accepting All Outcomes

Life rarely turns out the way we prefer. Someone hurts us. We get sick. We suffer loss. If we believe in God, we turn to God for help. We pray for reconciliation, for healing, for provision. Sometimes, our requests aren’t granted, even when our requests are legitimate and sincere.

One reason people lose faith is because they relied on God to help them, but God seemingly let them down. They asked for something important, but God didn’t give it. Their conclusion is that God doesn’t exist or God doesn’t care. In either case, they lost faith.

Foolish Expectations

It’s foolish to expect God to grant our every request. What I mean is that we need to be careful with our expectations. It’s virtuous to ask God to meet our needs and to trust Him to do so. But His answer to our need may not align with our desired result. If we expect a certain result, then we set ourselves up for disappointment. God is not obligated to deliver the result we want.

When I was bedridden with a back injury, I prayed for healing, but I got worse, to the point where I was in too much pain to move. I was trusting God, but it wasn’t working as I expected. Eventually, I realized that I had misplaced my trust. My trust was in getting healed, not in God Himself. Notice the difference. I was putting my faith in a specific outcome, not in God’s care for me.

Trust in God, not Outcomes

God wants me to put my faith in Him and not in an outcome. I had to be willing to trust God with permanent disability. That required a much deeper trust than what I was exercising. I needed to entrust God with my life and my future. This was the level of trust that God wanted from me, trusting Him with any outcome, believing He would take care of me no matter what the circumstance.

So when you pray, be careful with your expectations. Don’t “expect” God to meet your desires, although you can still ask God to meet them. Rather, expect God to work in your life or the lives of others according to His good purpose. His purpose for us isn’t a trouble-free life. His purpose for us is to know Him and to grow in love and trust. And those things only happen when life challenges us. So rely on God, not outcomes. Learn to trust God with those outcomes. Believe that His love is enough to carry you through any trial. Allow His purpose to transform you into the person He wants you to be, a reflection of God Himself.

We Decide How Bad Things Are

One way to accept undesirable outcomes is to realize that things are only as bad as you judge them. Your response to circumstances depends on what you tell yourself about them. We decide how bad something is. Then we respond according to our judgment. Imagine that you discovered the word “bigot” spray-painted on the side of your car. This would trigger many feelings for most people. If you tell yourself this is a terrible and unbearable situation, your emotions will escalate in response. You will be more upset and angry. If you tell yourself this situation is manageable, then your emotions will be more tempered.

You think you respond to situations. The truth is that you respond to your “thoughts” about a situation. If you think something is horrible, then you will act as though it’s horrible. If you think something is not so bad, then you will act accordingly. So, be careful with what you tell yourself about your circumstances. Your thoughts determine whether your life is awful or manageable. Your judgments can create more stress for you.

Resistance Versus Acceptance

A situation has no inherent emotion. It’s neutral. It’s just an event. We decide what emotion to attach. We decide how upset it should make us. We make a story out of it. “This terrible thing happened to me and I freaked out because it messed up my plans.” An alternative narrative for the same event could be, “This thing happened, and I accepted it while learning how upset I still get when things don’t go my way.” We can choose to accept a circumstance or resist it. When we resist it, we make it our enemy, and our fight instinct kicks into gear with all the accompanying stresses. Resistance takes a toll on our bodies. When we accept it, we place our trust in God and try to enter His peace, at the same time asking for wisdom for what we can change about the circumstance.

Release your judgments about your life and entrust your circumstances to God. “With God all things are possible,” says Matthew 19.26. “Surely God is my help. The Lord is the one who sustains me,” says Psalm 54:4. With God, all things are manageable. We have no reason to tell ourselves that our circumstances are intolerable. If we can learn to avoid judging our circumstances so harshly, we will be more at peace and will find it easier to trust God. God wants us to trust Him more, and He is willing to help us do so.

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Rick Hocker is a game programmer, artist, and author. In 2004, he sustained a back injury that left him bed-ridden in excruciating pain for six months, followed by a long recovery. He faced the challenges of disability, loss of income, and mounting debt. After emerging from this dark time, he discovered that profound growth had occurred. Three years later, he had a dream that inspired him to write his award-winning book, Four in the Garden. His intent was to illustrate one’s growth toward deep communion with God and to share the insights he gained from the personal transformation that resulted from his back injury. He lives in Martinez, California.

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